


Come back to me, amore mio

by The_Lonely_Wolf_Needs_A_Star



Series: I'm here for the hurt/comfort ❤️ [2]
Category: The Old Guard (Comics), The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Cuddling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fear of Death, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Love, M/M, Miscommunication, a bit painful but a nice painful, and I'm sorry, but i hope you like it, but like the other one's death, i love them so much but somehow i always end up hurting them, they just need to talk and cuddle it out, they'll be fine like always, they're very much in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:42:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27062863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Lonely_Wolf_Needs_A_Star/pseuds/The_Lonely_Wolf_Needs_A_Star
Summary: They come back from a mission and Nicky is a bit distant - ensue a much needed conversation and cuddling
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Series: I'm here for the hurt/comfort ❤️ [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1975141
Comments: 13
Kudos: 154





	Come back to me, amore mio

**Author's Note:**

> not beta-ed but written with love ❤️

As soon as they arrive, they do the usual sweep. After that many centuries together, they don’t even need to speak to coordinate, Joe checks the first floor while Nicky clears the ground floor. They meet back in the kitchen.

“All clear?” Joe asks as he comes in.

Nicky nods while turning the kettle on. “The shutters in the living room need to be repaired.”

Nicky keeps his back to Joe as he looks through the cupboards in search of the tea they’d left the last time they’d stayed here.

“Nicky.”

“Hmm?” He takes two cups of tea out of one cupboard.

“Nicolo.” Joe steps closer, his chest brushing against his back. He takes the cups from his hands and places them down on the counter. Joe’s hands run lightly up Nicky’s arms until they get to his shoulder and squeeze gently. “Nicolo, look at me.”

“I’m okay,” he protests.

Joe wraps his arms around his middle.

“Look at me,” he whispers against Nicky’s ear.

Nicky takes a shuddering breath and slowly turns around in Joe’s arms, meeting his eyes tentatively.

“I’m fine,” Joe tells him reassuringly.

“I know you are. Of course you are, we’re always fine.”

“But you’re not.”

Nicky drops his forehead on Joe’s shoulder and sighs.

“I’ll be fine. I just need a little while to recover. I just...” his hands’ grasp on Joe’s hips tightens. “I got scared.”

“You, scared?” Joe says with a forced chuckle. “You’re not scared of anything, my love.”

“You wouldn’t wake up, Joe.”

Joe’s smile falls from his lips in a sigh.

“I know, I know.” He guides Nicky’s head up with a finger under his chin and presses his forehead against his. “To be fair,” he whispers. “I did have part of my head blown up.”

Nicky jerks away, his hands pushing roughly against Joe’s shoulders.

“You think I don’t know that?” Nicky’s fists clench at his sides. “I saw it happen right in front of me. I haven’t stopped seeing it since it’s happened!” he yells.

“Nicolo, habibi, I’m fine.”

“Well I’m not fine, Yusuf!” 

Joe raises a tentative hand but Nicky takes a step further back and swats his hand away. Although he’s not surprised by Nicky’s rejection, Joe’s still hurt. He ought to have gotten used to it by now, but he always feels powerless when faced with Nicky’s anger and torment.

They’re so different in the way they deal with strong emotions. Joe needs comfort and reassurance whereas Nicky needs to be left alone and work through it on his own. After a couple hundred small disagreements blown out of proportions because of that difference and their inability to actual communicate their needs, they had caught on.

So in situations such as this one, Joe now recognises when it is time to give Nicky the time and space he needs. He lifts his hands up in surrender and slowly walks out of the kitchen, leaving Nicky to his tea.

A couple of hours later, Joe is in the living room, a book in his hands but not on his mind when he feels Nicky’s presence at his back. As he puts the book down, Nicky skirts the chair Joe is sitting in and sits on the table in front of him.

“I’m sorry for getting angry, hayati.” Nicky grabs Joe’s hands and kisses his knuckles in a quiet apology. “I was scared and felt vulnerable but I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”

“You don’t have to apologise.”

“Yeah, I do,” he whispers. “I hurt you by pushing you away and I am sorry for that. Hurting you is never my intention.”

“And I know that, habibi, which is why you don’t need to apologise, you just need to come back to me.”

“I’m here with you.”

“Not really, you’re not. You’ve been distracted and distant for a while now, not just today.” Joe scoots closer to the edge of the chair, closer to Nicky. “I know you need time to deal with your feelings, but right now, I need you to tell me what you’re dealing with because I can’t handle not knowing any more.”

Nicky’s face tightens in pain and he brings their linked hands back to his mouth.

“Ever since Andy... It’s gotten harder, Joe,” he tells him in a pained whisper. “I’m scared I’m gonna lose you.” A whining noise escapes his throat and Joe pulls him onto his lap. “Every mission is making it harder and I don’t know how to deal with it anymore. I even get scared when you go out to get some groceries, I’m scared all the time. I couldn’t live without you, I don’t even remember what my life was like before you, it’s been nine hundred years, Joe, and it’s been perfect, all of it, and I can’t bear the thought of it ending, I can’t bear the thought of you leaving me all alone and I-” His voice breaks and he starts crying in Joe’s arms. They hold on tightly to each other, Joe's thumbs drawing gentle circles on Nicky's back.

When Nicky’s sobs somewhat quiet down, Joe kisses the top of his head.

“Do you need us to take a break?” he asks.

“We can’t take a break right now. Andy is... And she needs to keep on going. We need to be there with her, she needs us. I- I need her.”

“Well, I need a break.”

That statement surprises Nicky enough that he pulls out of his own head. He pushes slightly away from Joe, just enough to watch his face and asks “Are you okay?”

Joe’s eyes close and a weary sigh escapes his lips.

“No, I’m not.” He opens his eyes but doesn’t meet Nicky’s. “I- as I said, I know you needed to work through your emotions on your own and you didn’t mean to be this distant but I need us to take a break from the team. I need _you_ to take a break. Because I can’t handle it. When you get this anxious, I... I need you with me. So I’m asking, please, let’s take a break. I know it’s not the best time with Andy being mortal again and I understand you wanting to be with her to protect her, I feel that way too. But I also need you back. And we can suggest we all take a break and it might be good for Nile too, she’s not used to it all yet and it’s taking a toll on her too. I know Andy might not say yes, but we can at least try and-”

“Yes.”

Joe’s eyes snap up. “What?”

“I said, okay, let’s take a break.”

“Really?”

“Of course. Habibi, you know you only ever have to ask. Whatever you need, I’ll give it to you.”

Joe pulls him in for a kiss then buries his face in his neck.

“Thank you, Nicolo.”

They spend the afternoon on the couch cuddling. At some point they put on a film that neither of them truly watches, as focused as they are on each other. They cuddle, kiss, talk, joke, and softly comfort one another. No more words are pronounced about the whole ordeal. At least not until that evening.

Nicky is already in bed, waiting for Joe to be done with his whole night-time routine as he always does. Only this time, he’s not reading, his eyes are looking at his hands without seeing them, a lonesome expression on his face.

“Joe?” he asks when Joe finally comes out of the bathroom.

“Hmm?” he answers as he’s getting undressed.

“How long have you been feeling like I was distancing myself from you?”

Joe pauses, one arm still in his shirt. He turns carefully towards Nicky before letting the shirt fall down slowly into a puddle at this feet. He doesn’t answer but doesn’t look away either. Nicky waits.

Joe’s shoulders fall a bit.

“For a while.”

“How long?”

“A little over a month.”

Nicky thinks back on the past month’s events. “After you died in Switzerland.”

“Yeah.”

“Why didn’t you tell me before?”

Joe doesn’t answer right away but when he does, his words come out so softly, Nicky almost doesn’t catch it.

“Do you remember Paris 1851?”

Nicky winces. “I do.”

“You left me.”

“I never left you,” Nicky immediately replies.

One side of Joe's mouth curls up in a sad smile. “I know it wasn’t your intention but we’d just argued and you said you needed some space and when you didn’t come back that night, or the night after that, I thought...” Joe takes a deep breath and looks back into Nicky’s eyes. “I thought you’d left me. Even though we’ve talked about it since, I never told you how much it hurt me because I knew telling you would only bring you pain. But I do realise now it might have been a mistake. I should have brought it up before.”

“It still hurts you.” It isn’t phrased as a question but it is there in his eyes.

“It’s not that I still carry pain from those days exactly. It’s more that every time I feel you getting distant, I feel myself going back there emotionally, feeling like you were gone and I’d have to face the rest of eternity alone until I finally died for good.”

A moan escapes Nicky’s lips at those words and Joe crosses the space between them. He sits on the bed leaning against the headboard, close enough that their sides are pressed together. Nicky turns his head and nuzzle his face against Joe’s shoulder.

He draws comfort from Joe’s touch for a while before speaking again.

“That doesn’t answer my question though,” he whispers. “Why didn’t you tell me before? _Especially_ since you were hurting so much.”

“Because, amore mio, you were already in so much pain, I couldn’t add on the weight of mine on top of it.”

“Yes you could. You should have talked to me about it, even if it caused me pain.”

“Hayati, you know I can never bring myself to cause you any pain, even if it means anyone else - myself included - would hurt less.”

“Unlike me. I’ve been hurting you for over a month because I couldn’t talk to you about my fears. I was so caught up in my own pain, I didn’t even see yours, didn’t even see that _I_ was causing you pain. It’s not even that I couldn’t talk about it, I just assumed you already knew. We’ve been together for so long, sometimes i take things for granted. You always seem to know my every feeling and desire and I sometimes forget you can’t read my thoughts. Forget that some things actually deserve to be said out loud.”

“You’re right, we should probably - both of us, Nicolo, I don’t want you to carry the guilt alone of this misunderstanding - communicate more about our feelings.” Joe chuckles at his own words. “I’m glad Andy and Nile aren’t here to listen to this conversation, they’d say that talking about our feelings is all we do already.”

“Well they’re not here and we do need to talk about it. I don’t ever want you to feel again like you’ve been feeling because of me so we’re gonna talk about it until we’re sure this won’t happen again.”

“Alright then,” Joe whispers. “But if I may, I’d like to start this long conversation by saying, Ti amo, Nicolo Di Genova.”

Nicky’s face softens.

“Ti amo, Yusuf Al-Kaysana.”

**Author's Note:**

> It seems this piece I've been working on for a little while now is the only thing my anxious ass could focus on today and it brought me a little bit of peace and happiness, hope it does for you too.  
> Let me know what you think, kudos and comments are very much appreciated.  
> Don't forget to take care of yourself xx
> 
> I'm i-put-the-star-in-bastard on tumblr if you want to send me a prompt :)


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